Oi.....the insanity!!!

Well....Just back from Carls....I weighed myself and there it is....a 2 pound weight GAIN. I haven't been much sleep the past couple of weeks..and it go to the point that yesterday I went to the doc to get my Ambien back. I don't know if it's stress from the holidays or what...I need sleep...and judging from the lovely two pounds..just in time. I actually woke up pretty good this morning. That doesn't mean I like getting in the morning regardless. There wasn't too many people this morning. I think there was a total of 7 of us this morning. Come on people....this grump got up....so can you!! Anyways. It was a nice workout....broke a sweat and had a nice challenge on the TRX. I'm probably not going to do a double today. I don't have too anymore since the challenge is over...and honestly..I want a tiny break. I'm going to go back to working out 6 days a week..but only do one workout a day. Come January I'll set myself up for another self challenge. That'll do pig..That'll do. Talk to you tomorrow!

At least I made it.....

Well...today was a day of yoga. I decided to go to the 10:00 class because once again I couldn't get to sleep. I think it was because I had two sodas last night. I finally weaned myself off soda and when I have have soda now you would think I would have some kind of wild night. Nope...just sugar keeping my butt up. So today wasn't my best day at all. My right hip is acting up and I guess the nerve was starting to pinch a bit. Triangle didn't happen today and it sucked. I'll be back at it on Monday I guess. Talk to you later..and no  Dr. Pepper after 10:00 PM!!!

Thursday morning therapy.

Good Morning!! I'm attempting to get my blog done before noon and before The Boy wakes up. I love my Thursday Morning Yoga. It just seems right to me. However I realized during the first time I try to lock my knees that I forgot to wash off the lotion from the night before so I'm a little slippery! Hahahahaha...it's okay. I have my yoga shorts so its all good in my little world. Today was good. Kaci said something about when looking at yourself after you think you've done bad or fall out of a pose..to acknowledge yourself. I do that all the time to myself when I mess up or fall out. I cant say a four letter word out loud...so I usually look down with disgust or probably make a ugly face at myself. So I have decided that when I make a mistake in the yoga room or in the real world..I'll try not make a disgusting face or look away. I cant say I'll give up the F word or anything...but I need to put a new spin on how I react. I cant believe the 10 week challenge is up! I cant wait for the next one because next year I want to devote more time to yoga. I love getting there at 9:15 and having that time for myself. There is no one else to worry about during that time. Just me. I had to laugh because last Saturday I went to pick up dinner at Angelina's and I asked The Kid if she wanted to go with me...and she said "No...I want to stay with Daddy". I kept saying..."Cmon..we always go together...who's going to share a piece of bread with me in the parking lot?" Finally The Boy said..."Don't moms usually want to get away for a few minutes from their kids and family"? I told him...I had my alone time this morning in yoga...and now I want to spend time with you two. It wasn't until I was driving (alone) that I realized that I said that. My time for myself was in Yoga. I thought that was interesting. It's 12:05...I guess I went a little past my deadline. That's okay...the world didn't fall apart did it? Talk to you tomorrow and have a nice day!

A tale of 215.....

Another day of double duty!! It wasn't so cold this morning so I wore my favorite No Fear shorts that when I first wore them..I swore the Velcro was going to rip apart the first day in class. Now there a little baggy and I don't worry about them busting open in the middle of class. Of course I ignore Carls scale...I just shrug it off and put my shoes back on and assume my place in class. Today wasn't too bad. It wasn't anything that I cant do..I did however like that we did a new move. It was a plank that we had to lift one leg up and then the other. THAT was challenging..and I could feel it about 2 hours later while getting out of my Scion. So afterwards I get The Kid off to school and rush home to get ready. Now...I swear I'm going to make a check list and put it near the door. I seem to always forget something while I'm getting ready for yoga. I decided that I would just wear said No Fear shorts to the studio and change there. I would change back into the shorts and sweatshirt for the ride home. Gross...I know..I come home commando most days but I like to take my shower at home because...I like a shower longer than 2 minutes and it's not like I have to be anywhere else afterwards. Sooooo.....off to the studio I go. I'm totally into it..I think I got it together!!! Until I reach into my IKEA bag to take out my shorts...and they are MIA! NO SHORTS!! WTF!!?? I know I put them in there!!! AAGGHHHHHH!!!!! I wasn't happy....and I couldn't check my bank account to see if I had enough money to buy another pair. GGGRR....SO.....I ended up wearing my precious No Fear shorts into the room. The very first classes I actually wore my No Fear shorts in the room. I have 2 sets of pretty No Fear shorts to be in fact! Then..one day there was a sale...and I tried on a real pair of Luluemon shorts! My life was changed!!! It was so awesome!! I now have two pair because to me..they make all the difference in the world!!! AND today...I had to wear my No Fears. Ughh....It wasn't the same!!! I survived and wore my damp shorts home...and looked for the shorts I was supposed to wear today. I think they ran away from me right now...they know they are in trouble! Anyways....so I peel off all my clothes and check my weight. It said 216.7. All I could think is.. really?? I just want to hit 215!! What is that??? 3/10 of a pound??? How do they do those calculations in the Olympics again?? GGRR...I was happy for a loss..but I want to have a full 20 lb loss!! I'm so freaking close!! CMON! TMI WARNING HERE!! So I go to take my shower and I remember what a friend told me..."No salt the night before weigh in and take a massive dump!"......hmmm.....;) SO....I take care of business and shower and jump back on the scale......215.00!!!!!!!!!! Damn it finally!!!! So that is the story today of how I reached 215!!! Hope you found it entertaining...and remember kids..Remember your Yoga shorts!!! Talk to you tomorrow!!!

Yay it's Monday!

Monday means that The Kid is in school. The Boy is at work and I have the entire morning to myself!! I like this! Even through after next week The Kid will be home for two weeks straight and I wont have the Monday like today. Whatever. I went to Yoga this morning and even through the sun is shinning, I feel a bit gloomy. I think it's because I realized that the challenge is slowing winding down with SBL and The 10 week yoga challenge. I'm trying to train my brain not to think too far ahead because then I start to freak out over things like.."How am I going to pay for classes?" "I don't think I can live without Yoga?" etc..etc...I've been working on this for 5 months!!! I didn't give myself a real finish line. I know I wont let all this hard work go to nothing. It's taken this long to get into this for myself and now it's seeming like I feel sad if I cant keep going. I have to keep going. I kept trying to push these thoughts out of my brain in class today...and some thoughts went away..and some went into overdrive and frustrated me. My Fixed Firm pose wasn't hard to get into today. I have to tell myself. It's long ways from the first scared day I walked through the studio doors. It's been a long way from when I almost threw up outside Carl's studio.  Even when I'm frustrated I usually walk out a couple thoughts lighter. There is no reason for myself to doubt myself. I swear its like I need a hammer to bang those thoughts out. I guess its just another process to work out. Gotta go...talk to you later everyone!

Better late than never?

It's 12:52 and I'm using my phone to write my blog because The Boy is home tonight. I have no clue why I find this so funny. Today was Carl and it was a toughie. 40 seconds on. 20 seconds off and no breaks today.I survived the most part of today's workout. The side twistys with the ball at the very end totally did me in. No more skipping for me that's for damn sure. It's basically starting from scratch and I knew it. I appoligized to Carl for not being there and I'm back to getting myself back on schedule. Hate to cut this short, but I have yoga in the morning so I have to get thyself to bed. Night night and talk to you in the morning!!

Mommy, when did you get a sweater that says Bikram Yoga???

Yes that was Bryttneys first words to me after school. I guess she does pay attention to when I'm talking about yoga. ;) Sorry kid, you get one when your older. Your only Six! Today was another yoga day. Getting the body back into it's old schedule. One side is still better than the other and I did hear a pop in my back during the first back bend. Those always make me smile. Balancing Stick....not so good today. My brain wasn't quite wanting to click just yet and it didn't want me to go down further than I should. My goal is to attempt the Toe Stand in a few months. I can kind hang out 1/2 way into position right now...and I'm too scared to go down any farther. I think I'll come crashing down like a stack Legos. Oh and get my hands into the right position for Eagle. My hands are still floundering. At least I get my arms into position. I felt so embarrassed that I had to hold my arms in the beginning...my SIX year old could put her arms into position...and all she did was look at some YouTube videos for 5 minutes!! Me...it took about 5 months. ; | Anyways...its done and in the books..and yes..I did buy a pink Bikram sweater. I'm wearing it right now with a lot of pride and I hope everyone else sees it too. ;)
Have a great Thursday everyone!! Carl's workout is tomorrow...be ready to read my suffering and complaining. It's all Love I swear!

I give!! I give!! Gotta go through Hell to get to Heaven.

I didn't make it to weigh-in on Tuesday. My insomnia came back with a freaking vengeance Monday night. I didn't go to actual sleep until 4:00 AM. There was nothing stressing me...no worries that were keeping me up. It was like I kept telling myself...seriously.. you have to get up in 6 hours to exercises....no wait...5 hours....hmm...4 hours is do-able...3?????...2....Oh Hell I give up!!! Oh how I missed my Ambien. I haven't needed one since early September. If only there was a midnight yoga class....that would have taken care of my sleeping problem real quick. I didn't do my double like I usually do since who knows when. I felt so sucky..I took a Sominex out of desperation last night to settle down and got  7 hours sleep and after dropping The Kid off at school I went to Yoga. I knew it was going to hurt today...and I knew I needed some type of punishment. I saw that Helena was teaching my class and I felt relief. Actually I didn't care who would teach the class. I just knew that walking into the door at Bikram would be some kind of relief to me...I think I actually felt relieved during the Standing Breathing Series.  A couple of times I just wanted to cry out of frustration. Some of the poses which I should be getting better at...sucked. I just know when I got home I felt so much better. I'm going back to yoga tomorrow morning. Carl will be Friday. I'm going back to my old schedule because I have learned the hard way when I get off it...my insomnia comes back and my misery becomes my company. I've worked too hard in the past 5 months to let that shit destroy me now. Talk to you tomorrow. Sorry for being a slacker.

Birthday present to myself

The time is currently 12:09..its November24th. I've been up since 4:20 am...Nov 23. For my Birthday I decided to make it special and do a double workout day. I know I usually do a double on Tuesday...but this week it's Thanksgiving vacation and my Birthday. Last year if you told me that I would be up WILLINGLY on a cold blustery morning on my BIRTHDAY...and would be excited to complete a double workout that would consist of throwing a ball around...be on my hands and knees doing push ups and thinking that THAT would be easier than some other exercises. THEN...I'll go into a 100 degree room and be happy to see myself stretch into interesting positions...and be wanting to go in every other day..waiting to see my happy smiling face in a mirror while trying NOT to wipe sweat from my brow. I'll be honest....I would have said your full of shit. Today...I did all that. Everyday something hurts in my body...sometimes its because of a workout...sometimes the workout helps something that hurts. I sometimes cry at the end of yoga...sometimes I walkout with a total yoga high. How else can I explain why I have been up for 20 hours straight? Yes...there was a bit of coffee involved...but nothing totally out of the ordinary. I actually went to sleep EARLY to prep for this day. I'm not a early person at all...and this is probably be a reason why I'll be going to sleep tonight...so I can be in yoga at 7am on THANKSGIVING morning. I'll be in a 100+ room giving thanks in my own way. I guess in my own way..its not just about the weight...its about how it makes me feel. Good night sleep tight...and my 32 year old self will see you later!

Last day of 31

Today is my last day of being 31. I got myself up and out the door at 11:45 with The Kid in tow to Carl's class. We worked on the TRX...Lots of mat exercises and then threw the ball at the floor. The fun part was The kid got into the act! I look over and she is doing jumping jacks and then Carl handed her a med ball and she threw it on the floor and then picked it up. I think she did great today. Probably better than me and so tomorrow is my 32 Birthday! I'm celebrating first thing in the morning with a lovely workout with Carl and a yoga session at 9. Wish me luck on my birthday double! Have a great day everyone and try to stay dry today. Bryttney- "Do not go in the rain!"

“For me, yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself. ”- Mary Glover

Another day in the yoga chamber! It wasn't too bad today. I only sat out one pose because I'm still trying to get my hip to be nice to me again. All and all it was a good session. We also had a new instructor. Joe from Chicago who is here until April! Joe seems like a nice teacher and I cant wait to have another class with him. Helena went home sick today...Get well Helena!! Talk to y'all Saturday. I'm spending tomorrow in The Kids class because it is the last day before Thanksgiving vacation!! Have a nice evening everyone!

There is an immeasurable distance between late and too late.”-Og Mandino

Well.....I missed my 12:00 workout today. Some leftover stress kept me up until late this morning so I came home from dropping off The Kid at school (a minute late) and came home and went back to sleep. I woke up at 12:45. I wasn't too upset because I knew I could make it up at 5:00. The Kid came along and did her homework between two other people working out on bands being pulled in the door jams. It was a good workout and I did break a sweat. I think Carl received his new bands because these were quite tight. We did forward and side lunges while attached to the bands. I think it was a great break from the wood choopers with the med ball. My hip is still a bit sore. I'm going to yoga tomorrow to help with that. I'm going to be giving up my Friday nooner to help out with The Kid's classroom. Thanksgiving break is coming up and so I'm going to have to adjust my schedule a bit..but it'll get done. Talk to y'all tomorrow. Have a great day everyone!

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."- Thomas Edision

Well. It's Tuesday...It seems this day it seems to be my busiest and is usually stressful in the mornings and with any luck its fun and family in the evening. Lets start with the stressful morning! 4:20am...its cold...I hate early morning..and I HATE WHEN THERE IS NO FREAKING MOVEMENT!! Carl's scale said 219. Well...at this point I don't even care. I do my workout as best as I can because my hip is still locked up. I went to the chiropractor last night and got a good rest on the roller table,and advice to ice my hip. Roll around to this morning and its still sore. I attempted a few bur pees without the ball. I got through it and all that matters to me. I WONT GIVE UP ON THIS PROCESS..even if it frustrates the living shit out me. I cant give up. So I get home....yes...If your on my face book..you saw I went to Krispy Kreme. I also only had 1.25 in change. Enough for 1 stinking donut! I got my fix and I'm over it.....for the next 2-3 months anyways. So I get home and wait for the trash people to leave my alley so I can strip down and weigh myself in my kitchen. 216.9. Well...At least its not 219 like Carl's. I told Maria what happened and she said..well...at least its not 236! Good point. Things could be so much worse. I'm working on another food plan that is just waiting for some financial assistance from moi...time to cash in my cans and plastic. Times are tough people! That's why I'm ever so grateful to Carl and Helena for choosing me. Financially this would have been super tight for The Boy and I to manage on a single income right now. My only challenge these days is to workout....get The Boy off to work with lunch and to get the Kid off to school before the bell rings..and sometimes I even screw that up. Today I gave up yoga to help The Kid at her field trip to the local Marina Market. It was yet another workout because we walked to and from the Market and that proved to be fun...while wearing Uggs and a Pea coat. It was survived and I learned that the Marina Market cores and peels your pineapple.  I'm done for now...Hope something good happens tomorrow. Never give yup people.. matter what the frik the scale says.

Some people develop a wish bone where their back bone should be.-Unknown

Good Morning!!
Yoga is done for day! My left hip is still mad at me for whatever reason so Yoga wasn't my best. I'm going to go to my Cracker Pracker today for a adjustment to make sure every thing is all nice and aligned up. I had Victoria from the previous SBL next to me in class and that was nice to see her this morning. I'm hoping that I have some movement tomorrow..if not..well....I'll deal with that when it comes to it. I'm really craving a green salad with toasted walnuts, feta and a balsamic vinaigrette. Hope that inspires someone in this world to eat a salad! See ya tomorrow!!!

“I would rather have a big burden and a strong back, than a weak back and a caddy to carry life's luggage” -Elbert Hubbard

Wow....My day was interesting today. I didn't make it to 8:00 yoga because The Boy had to work last night and didn't come home until 7:40. The only way I was able to make it there if I suddenly turned into Alex from Wizards of Waverly Place and could use my iPhone to use a spell to get me to Bikram in 2 seconds. (I'm watching it right now cant you tell? ;). I missed 2 classes last week and changed my schedule. OMG..I could tell today! My left hip didn't want to cooperate for anything. I feel like I just walked in there for the first time today! OW!!! This sucks in the worst way! I couldn't even do the poses that haven't been a problem for me in months. So this means I will be back to my old schedule next week. THIS is the main reason why I cant stop doing yoga. The pain in my hip..the shoulders are not aligned...Ugh. I may need to see the Cracker Pracker on Monday. This sucks...but it will be worked out and I will be back to normal within a few days. Normal meaning whatever! Have a good weekend everyone!!

Eighty percent of success is showing up. -Woody Allen

Well...It's been two days that I have missed workouts. Wednesday was planned..yesterday was not. I swore I set my alarm for 8:15. I woke up to The Kid poking me and when I checked my phone..it said 9:09. DAMN!!!! I just missed my yoga class. I couldn't make it to the afternoon class because The Kid is home so there went that. On to today. I made it to Carls class at noon. YAY!!! Class wasn't so bad....I was able to do a few Burpee's and I HATE THOSE! If it wasn't for my belly...I could probably do more. I'm just glad I got a workout in. This week has been strenuous. I'm hoping to get a little focus tomorrow at Yoga. So...see ya tomorrow. Sorry. I'm a bit moody today. ;)

Whoops I did it again!

What I mean by that is that I didn't do my journal (as The Kid refers to my blog as) yesterday. It was a crazy day. I was up from 4:20am to 1ish last night. I had did my workout at 5:00 am with Carl. I gave the scale The Bird prior to getting on...No such luck. No movement again. One good thing I noticed is that I'm getting better at doing exercise with that stupid ball. Throwing a 12 pound ball for a certain amount of time will eventually do something good to your body! SO...afterwards I come home and stand on my scale.....217.1. Yup...screwed again. I get The Kid to school and get myself ready for Yoga. I was trying not to let the frustration get in my way...but it was hard. There were a few new people in class..and there was a new person who actually sat through the class who didn't want to attempt some of the poses. I don't know why that made me so frustrated. Cmon..just freaking try! I know that world is unusual to some people. My first time was scary..but I at least tried and did my best. At least be respectful and try what the instructor is trying to teach you! EECCHHHKKK!!!! OH well...another day. I didn't go to yoga today because I had to take care of some personal business that has been another stress factor to me..and I had to taken care of. SO hopefully tomorrow I can be ready to take in another yoga to help reset myself to where I can take of myself like I was when I was losing weight. I'm also going back to Max Muscle for a consultation. I'm really looking forward to that! Have a good day tomorrow and thank a veteran for all that they have done for our country.

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

That's is how I felt after being done with Carl today. My brain is fried, mushed, mashed and the body no doubt will feel it tomorrow. Or tonight. Or in a hour. Today was probably one of the hardest workouts in the past 4 months. We did 1 minute of a exercise...and 20 seconds off. Yes I complained every one of those 20 seconds. Half of us were on mats while the other half of people were on the TRX. That went for two rounds and then we had a break! After the break we had to grab a ball and a partner. We then had to throw the ball on the ground while the other person did a series of planks, spideys, side planks and whatever. I just kept hoping I wouldn't drop the ball or have a ball dropped on my head. My back and front were sweaty. F-bombs were dropped by yours truly. I had to keep telling myself...really all this hell will pay in the end. Really....now keep going. Tomorrow...another weigh in...Great. Lets see what horrors await me. Talk to you tomorrow! BTW...My happy place today was knowing that NKOTB is going back on tour next summer. I think that was probably the only way I smiled in class today!

The hardest battle you are ever going to fight is the battle against yourself

Another day of me writing my thoughts late again. I only got 4 hours of sleep before yoga and I crashed around 1:00 this afternoon. With the exception of me only getting 4 hours of sleep yoga was good today. Helena was back and whipped everyone back into shape again. I'm still working on my Standing Bow pose. Fixed Firm was good today. Toe...well...I can touch the floor while in position. I'm not ready still to bend down to the floor. I figure I'll hang out for a while before going all the way down. Afterwards I made a quick stop by Max Muscle to ask more questions about different supplements and I decided that I'll go this week for a consultation about my diet, measure my body mass and see what can be modified. I had to laugh....the guy working said my life sounded pretty active. I felt like saying...only when I'm exercising! Other than that I'm a total lazy slob. I had to really think about that today...I've been doing this crazy schedule for 4 months. FOUR FREAKING MONTHS! I have NEVER been dedicated to anything like this before. Even Ray said.."I have never seen you been into exercises like this before". I'm still adjusting to the change. I still want to stay up late and be lazy..but yet I know I'm only hurting myself when I don't get enough sleep. I don't drink soda as much anymore. We have officially switched to whole wheat bread in our house (I've been waiting 11 years for that!). I'm not going to touch the Chocolate issue...let me have my chocolate and I'll give up something else. Change is finally happening with me. Slowly..I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with this truthfully. I know this is going to be a life change...not just for the next few months. What I'm going to do with it...is the real question to myself. Remember to change your clocks back everyone!!! See you back here on Monday!

I don't care about being big and strong, I just want to look good naked

Yes. I wrote part of this quote on my application. I also wrote I wrote I wanted to look better naked while having sex. Well...those of you who know me that shouldn't come as a total surprise. ;)
Today was MORE TRX and band work. I kept thinking my hand was going to slip out of the handle and I would either bounce on the floor or hit the wall. When Carl said to grab a handle..Maria and I both grabbed each others "love handles". Yes...were full of one liners. ;) Trying to do squats while holding the handle with one hand is hard! It looks and feels awkward. You just have to keep trying when you think your going to fall on your ass. At the same time I'm trying to remember all the moves because I have my own TRX at home. I remember when I used to think Carl was easier than Yoga. Yeah....its not. I'm not saying Yoga is easy...but Carl whoops your ass at the end of the day. Well...I'm working on my water intake. Hope you have a great weekend and remember we "Fall back" this weekend! Talk to you tomorrow!

"The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough." ~ Amy Weintraub

Today was another morning of yoga!! I swear it's like I get so excited to go in...and its so hard to relax and settle in and CONCENTRATE. It has taken 4 months to finally figure out how to swing my arms into Eagle pose and now I'm just working on getting my legs to follow. I'm now on a quest to get my body to learn how to do a Standing Bow pose. It's so elegant and strong. I can only get into and keep the pose for about 10 seconds and then I go flailing to the side. I can see my foot over my head and to me that's a miracle. I actually wish I could take a picture of myself doing that pose every month to see how I progress. I was telling Adrianne that yoga is one of few things that I have a real commitment too. I don't see it as just exercise. I see it as my therapy. In the past few months I feel like I love myself again. WELL, a lot of times I do have a "its all about me" attitude...but now..its different. I'm not sure if I can really explain it. Without Yoga I see the anxiety, stress, panic attacks running towards me. I wish I had found this studio when it first opened. I've had so many "moments" in class that left me crying on my mat...or made me want to run out of my class to text or call someone (and yes I have text or left messages on Facebook with sweat dripping on my phone. I can't explain this...but all I know is that as long as Bikram is near me..I don't want to leave. Have a great Friday everyone!!!

Progression pictures

June 2009

Spring 2010

June 2009

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food. ~Erma Bombeck

Today is a semi-easy day. Only one workout! Yesterday was a double up day. Carl's workout today consisted of squats, TRX work and ball throwing. Don't ask me what was in-between because it's all a blur. The exercises change up every 30 seconds and today we were mixing in squat type exercise every 30 seconds with either doing push ups on the TRX or a chest press with a Sumo squat ( Hey I remembered a exercise!). Most of the times you hear me asking...."What's next?" I'm sorry if I don't always remember each specific one. I assume the role of "Tell me what to do next and I'll do it". ;)
I finally got out and about to buy my next container of protein powder for my shakes. This may seem meaningless...but the strangest things intimidate me. I feel weird going into a Max Muscle store and asking for help from a fit person. I have not clue why I feel this way. Especially since I've did  3 months ago. It's almost like I feel like I'm too fat to be in there. It shouldn't have mattered..the guy asked what my progress was and I told him 18 pounds and he said that was great. I swear my own thoughts are my worst enemy. I'm so glad to have my powder back. I actually like the stuff! It been part of my routine for the past 4 months. Exercise..yoga...then protein shake. I think I'll have one now...just because. Have a good night or good morning!

Double up day!

Yup. It's Tuesday...Its the day that begins before the sun comes up! So today is weigh in. I know I'm in trouble since I had tri-tip and chocolate on Sunday and a nice steak dinner on Monday. So its no surprise when I step on the scale and it doesn't move. Hell...I don't think I even looked. I should have just taken Maria's approach and flipped it off when I stood on it. I kept my sweatshirt on throughout the workout and didn't take it off until that last 10 minutes. I was drenched. I could feel it and smell it. I knew I was paying. I managed to save my pride and not give up. I got home and weighed myself on MY scale...Yup. 216.3 I was on a total weight loss high last week and yup..crash landed today. I'm out of protein for my shakes...I ate chocolate on Sunday. I'm back on watching and recording my food intake again. It sucks..but I'm human and so I'll work on it again. If I totally give up...that's when I need to be taken out back and beaten. ;) I had my first yoga class with Isabel today at Bikram. I think I so needed that class to relax and get it back together mentally for the rest of the day. I  did the Firm Fixed pose again..I freaked a little on the second set and didn't go down all the way. I had a interesting neighbor next to me on the floor today. There is a 7 month pregnant woman in our class. I find her inspirational that even with her belly she is totally giving it her all. All I could think that I hope in a few years when we decide to have another child how cool it would be to come in that room and rock those poses. The confidence she has is something that I hope to attain. I was telling Ray tonight that this yoga would have helped me so much compared to the pregnancy stress that I had before. Not that I had a lot of stress with The Kid..but it would have helped so much mentally and physically. It's 11:05 PM..sorry this Rant took all day today. It's my Family day today so we had a lot to get done in a short time. Hope everyone has a great nights sleep or if your reading this tomorrow morning..Have a great day! 

It's November!!!!

Okay ..I fell off the Chocolate wagon onto my butt last night. Hey. At least I'm being honest and not hiding behind it right? Okay...I'll take my flogging now. No, that's tomorrow at Carl's! I did get myself up and after I made sure The Kid made it to her classroom I booked it home and tried to find some clothes to wear to Bikram. I had another first today!! I was able to get into the Fixed Firm Pose today!It's taken a whole 4 months to get to this point. My knees were a little nervous on the way down..and I literally slid into position before I had a chance to really think about it. It was a little almost like "WHOA...I'm here....Umm...where do I put my arms again?" Getting up out of the position is harder than getting into position. I guess I'll be working on that tomorrow after Carl's. I'm a little scared of the scale after falling off the wagon and now I'm dragging myself back on it. I realized this morning that it's NOVEMBER now. Where is the time going?? I love this month because to me..besides my birthday..it means fall is officially here and winter is coming. Turkey day and Christmas!!! Wow...It's a little scary seeing how I've been at this for 4 months now. Hopefully tomorrow I will have hit at least 20 lbs lost. I wish it was more...but I have two more months to work on it. My first goal was to get to 180-170ish by February...and I think with any luck..and a whole lot of patience I'll get there. I just know...life without Bikram Yoga seriously scares me. Talk to you tomorrow.

Losing and other fun stuff

Good Morning!! I sound so with it and together...trust me I'm not. Any ways...It's Tuesday!! Time to see how bad I sucked!! Well...I get on Carl's scale and it says 219.  It wasn't a bad workout today. Lots of leg work and throwing the ball around.  I was waiting for myself to lose it since I didn't go for a couple of days...and I think I have a sinus infection. Its been a while since my sinuses acted up..and I was surprised I was able to get any sleep last night since I would roll one way and the crap would drain to the other side, then I would roll to the other side...and the crap would drain the other way. My ears seemed full and when I woke up this morning..I blew my nose and all kinds of fun came out!! So yes...I'm going to the doc today to get meds I need to clear this up. Sorry for all the nasal issues everyone! So back to the weigh in! I get home and take all off my clothes and get on MY scale. The numbers are 216.5!!! I'm not sure how I did it...but I'm going to keep on going trying my best every week until I get to a healthy weight. The Boy told me yesterday he wants to go to Hawaii in 2012. That gives me a year and a half to get bikini ready. I think that's a attainable goal! Have a good Tuesday everyone!!

Back to the grind...

My name is Donna...and I have been a slacker. It's Monday!!! Icky...My sinuses are are messed up as me right now...Yes I missed the last two days of Yoga and Carl...I know I know!! I suck...but it also means I have get my ass in gear and put it in drive this week. I hope its not going to be as bad as last week. Things are back to normal this week as far as schedules are concerned. No more parent-teacher conferences or crazy running all over the valley to see people. Today was yoga and I thought I was going to have a really bad time since I skipped Saturday. I'm a little scared to try the Tree pose again. I'm going to ease my way into that pose hopefully in the next week or two. I am touching the floor with my fingers and getting used to my body getting into THAT position before I lower my hips down and hopefully don't go crashing down like a pile of dishes. I do have to admit..I do feel better now that I went to yoga..I swear that room has some kind of healing properties. My sinuses are feeling a little better afterwards. I'm going in tomorrow and Thursday so I hope that it helps clear that crap out. When my allergies flare up...I'm a plain miserable bitch to be around. My head feels like a total bobble head and my attitude sucks. So...I'm off to shower! I wore dry clothes home so I wouldn't be a frozen Popsicle. BTW.....one of my biggest loves is coming back to Stockton...Freaking Krispy Kreme! I drove by to see how long the line is to get a app and a quick interview..and its snaking along the building and no doubt will be longer as the day go on. My precious donuts...I'll have to do a lot of Yoga and burpees to work those suckers off. See ya tomorrow everyone!

Damn Damn Damn...

Okay..I was a slacker yesterday....not really..only when it came to this blog! I had weigh-in and workout with Carl. Okay..I have a little bit of issues with his scale. I have been weighing myself since July on my same industrial up to 400 lb scale. Its new and we use it for weighing The Boys eBay crap and it has so far only been used by me. ;) So Carl's scale said 223. BOO! Mine says 219.2. I think I'm going by mine only because it is newer and the calibration's are still good. Still sucks because that is where I was at last week. Good workout with Carl and Nora and Maria...we get the morning groceries done and we head for home to get the kids to school. Here comes the fun part. I decided that yesterday was going to be the day that I try to do a double as in TWO workouts in ONE day!! I know it doesn't mean much...but after I drooped off The Kid at school I came home and got my yoga stuff ready and headed out for yoga class! I had a small snack as soon as I got home from Carl's so I had some energy and yet had a two hour span before class. It went great!! It was wonderful! I felt good! I do think I'll have to start taking dry clothes to come home in because since its finally getting cool around here...I cant drive home with the windows down like I used to. Its a little chilly! What added to my long day was that I had a appointment after school at 2:30 for a parent teacher conference and right after that I had to go to Elk Grove for another family appointment. It made for a very long day and I feel asleep around 8:30 for a hour then went to bed later. I love that I know how I double up on workouts and it wont kill me! Here's the bad part of today. I came back from dropping of The Kid at school and was getting ready to go into the back yard when I put my purse on my shoulder....I had a spasm in my upper back muscles which caused me to literally lose my breath. My back has always spasmed..never a muscle in my back. So....I took one for the team and stayed home today. I went to my Chiropractor and he said my rib muscles area is tense and pops everything back in. One good thing he noticed is that I'm much more flexible now that he has ever seen. I gotta see the positive somewhere! So back to yoga tomorrow to get another part of my body back to normal. Have a nice evening everyone...and Ladies...careful with your purses!!  

Insane in the membrane!!!

OMFG!!! I did something today that I thought would take at least a year to accomplish! This morning in yoga I was able to start a Toe Stand Pose!! This is the crazy pose where you stand on one foot and have your leg crossed over, and your bascially balanced on your toes with your hands in prayer. I was shocked and amazed! I totally thought that it would take me at least a year to accomplish this feat! I usually do two sets of Tree pose...which leads into Toe stand. I however decided to bend down to see how far I can go when Jonalyn noticed me..and called me out and said I was half way there..and to keep going! I guess I had that WTF look on my face so Jonalyn came off the podium and talked me through the pose. I know it wasn't the prettiest pose...but I freaking got there!!! I actually started to laugh and cry at the same time! The class also clapped for me!! Jonalyn told me after class she didn't know if I was laughing or crying..and I told her both. I wanted to run out of the class and call everyone and tell them what I did!! I cant wait until tomorrow..because I'm going to attempt my first double tomorrow. I know like all the other poses...with practice I'm so going to get there. There was a girl in class who is 7 almost 8 months pregnant told me afterwards..."You didn't know until you tried huh?" I feel so lucky and happy today! Lets go again tomorrow!!!

Pain kills the pain

Good Morning everyone!!! It's Saturday which means Yoga day!!!! It also means Ray works Friday night...and it usually means me waiting for him to come home so I can leave. As was this morning. Ray came home at 7:25. I left my house at 7:30 to drive to Bikram. My Boy busted butt to get home so I could leave to go to a early class. I think that's love..or insanity...your choice. Helena was in ready to whip us today!! Damn it felt hotter than hell at times....only to discover she turned off the heater 15 minutes before class was over. I forgot to get some tissues before class started..so my nose starts to drain and I feel crappy for 5 minutes. Then I get over it..and finish out class. Since the code has been cracked on the Eagle pose..now I have to turn my attention to three other poses. Fixed firm which is having your back on the floor with your knees bent at your sides, Camel pose where your back is arched backwards...I always get scared in this position...Helena says this is supposed to help open your heart....maybe is emotional then! The last pose is the Head to Knee pose. Your supposed to be able to stretch forward and down while grabbing your toes...I CAN'T GET MY TOES!!! Oh damn...I so want to stretch!!! Someday! This isn't to say that I have the other poses down...it's just that these are still problems for me..and I want to do them...its just that my belly is in the way....or I just haven't found the flexibility yet.. Its somewhere in me...I'm still trying to dig around and find it. That's all for today everyone....Have a great weekend and don't drink and drive..get your BFF'S to drive!

Friday 10-15-2010

YAY ITS FRIDAY!! That doesn't mean much...I still have another day to go! Carl is off to So Cal for a charity marathon so we had Molly working us out today. Seriously what happened to our breaks??? We used to get 2 minutes between sets but I think those are officially gone. ;(
Oh well. I was going to go for a double today..but I decided to go to The Kid's flag salute at school and decided to make good use of my time and clean my kitchen before boot camp. I think I'm pms'ing since I was in a cleaning mode. So...here's to tomorrow...I need one more glass of water down the gullet and a shower to wash off today's lotion before Yoga tomorrow! Night Night!

Nine wasnt so fine...

OI...Today was an okay day. I couldn't seem to get it together for anything today. I went to yoga..and today should have been great. Adrienne was teaching today..but all I could seem to do today was yawn through out class. I was there...but not really there. I actually feel asleep on the floor after the final savasanah. The only reason why I woke up is because I was starting to dream that the kid was asking me what color her fruit snack was..and I almost said OUT LOUD Blue.  I asked Helena if it's normal for people to fall asleep in the room and she said yes because you become so relaxed. I think its just my body still adjusting to everything. I know I've been saying that a lot..but I think I need to increase my food intake or something because sometimes I'm so sluggish in the evenings..or like today...every few hours I was taking a nap. So I'm going to try to eat more throughout the day and see how I feel. I did complete my 2nd week of the challenge with a complete week!! YAY!! I'm going for a double tomorrow because I need my 3rd day with Carl done for the week. I'm off to relax now....or at least try..I seem to be so good at it today! Have a good Friday yalll!!!

Day 8

Oi....I made it to Carl's a few minutes late today, but just in time to start the planks! We so busted a** with doing squats while throwing a 10 pound ball. My arms were killing me by the second set and I think we were doing 4 sets? I'm not sure..because instead of 20 seconds of work and 10 seconds of rest...we did another set of exercises during the "rest" period. The one good thing about doing this workout is that it goes by fast. Tomorrow is back to Bikram for my 4th day and finishing out my 2nd week of that Challenge. So many challenges....so much to fit in. I swear my head spins because I'm trying still to schedule it all in and make it all work and that doesn't leave much time for spontaneous things to do. I know...I know.....quit whining. Tomorrow is another day..and another class to take!

Day 7 ;(

Yeah...up early again. Got to the gym and got on the scale. 223. No movement (and were not talking about the potty). It sucks and its disappointing. Carl worked our asses off today. No breaks..just work. I don't think I'm eating enough food quite honestly. Sometimes I just have protein shakes and something small or nothing at all. Or I had something I shouldn't have had all together. Not going to lie. I was bad..and I only have myself to blame. Yes I did do 7 workouts in 6 days..but it's not going to show if I keep eating badly. I have a long day ahead of me today. I'll get back to writing more later. Have a good day everyone!

Day 6 I guess

Yoga is done for the day!! I went in for a round of yoga today. I can't believe I went three days straight last week! I think I did feel better over all after it was over. I think I finally may have cracked the Eagle pose!! Jonalyn helped me with the arms on both attempts. I think I can do the left side..and I'm going to practice getting them into the right side. Jonalyn also said.."I don't think you need to hold your arms anymore". It's only taken 3 months!!! YAY!!! So that was my big accomplishment for the day. I'm going to figure out some what to make for dinner now and take care of some chores before The Kid and Boy come home today. Tomorrow's weigh in...and another early day. Wish us all luck!!

Day 5!! Finally!

For those who know me...I don't wake up until I don't know..12...it's been a long while since I have actually slept in. I think I only do that on Sundays now and it's only until 10am. In my world that is sooooo early. I am so excited to go to yoga these days!! Who would have thunk it!? Last night I was so excited that I couldn't sleep. I was tired..but excited. Last I knew it was 3 am...yes 3 am!!! When my alarm went off at 7:04 I went back to sleep for 5 minute,  I looked at my phone and saw that it was 7:10 I got up and got dressed, got my supplies and ran out the door. I said good morning to my neighbor Scott and he commented that he beat me getting up this morning (I've been beating him the past couple of weeks). I jammed to the studio because 8am  classes are usually packed. I get there and I realize I'm 20 minutes early (I'm not a speed demon I swear!). I hurried up and signed in,  threw my stuff in the cubby and grabbed my spot quickly. I really do love yoga now. It has so many unexpected benefits that I haven't realized until lately. My feet no longer hurt when I get out of bed. My back is being a bit more corapative and sometimes I stretch up and it makes all kinds of fun pops! I also think has helped me so much mentally. I have always been a anxiety-filled,freak-out girl. I'm usually happy go lucky...but inside my head I stress to much. 2 years ago my mom had a stroke and it fueled my anxiety to its fullest. I had panic attacks at work..and in front of my daughter. The worst one sent to the emergency room because I couldn't calm myself down. My heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest and explode and I couldn't catch a breath to save my life. I was watching Hoarders the other day and I saw a young mother have a severe panic attack and it looked so violent to me. It hit me that I had that same panic attack in front of my daughter two years ago. I've had to take Ambien the past couple of months just to get to sleep at night because my mind would race at night. Life's little shits were getting to me. With Yoga...its teaching me that it really is okay to let it go. Focus on the complete moment and on myself. No one else. My breathing is so much better now. I haven't had a Ambien in a month now. Ray and I were going to sleep the other day and even he noticed that my breathing is deeper and more calm. I also realized that is how I put myself to sleep every night. Savasana...For some reason something finally clicked in my thick skull. This really works people. I'm so grateful to be in that room even when I look half asleep. I have sweated and cried in a 100+ degree room and I know that it has made me a better person inside and out. Have a great day everyone!!! I need my shower and make some breakfast because I need to replenish from this morning! Bryttney just sniffed me and fell to the floor. I get the hint kid! See ya!

Day 4ish

It's Friday!! Which means one more day of exercise to go!! It's been interesting this first offical week of SBL 2. I've been doing this since July of this year...but it seems like I've only really been working on this RIGHT NOW. It's been a bit easier with the Kid being in full day school, but it still feels like if I'm not running to Yoga I'm running to Carl's. All this week I've had to take a small nap in the evening..which only means I need to get a$$ to sleep earlier than usual.  OI..I guess it's just the adjusting that I'm still getting used to. I worry about not making my 4 days to yoga and then my 3 days to Carl's. I thought I had a light bulb moment on the way home on how to make this work..but it seems to have burned out. I'll get it back...really. Anyways, Yoga was good today. I haven't been to 9:15 class on a Friday so I was surprised to see it so packed compared to a Tuesday or Thursday class. Today is also Helena's Birthday so we sung to her before class started. I cannot stress enough to hydrate before class! I usually drink 2-3 Venti-size glasses of water every night. My Filter went out on my water jug this week and I thought we had a back up...and after searching..Nope. I didn't want to drink the water straight from the tap because it's plain disgusting to me..and even if I add something to it, it still tastes like bricks. I did discover that I did have a Brita water filter for my tap today. I hooked that sucker up and the water tastes wonderful again!!! Why am I going on and on about water?? Because you need water at yoga and I was all out! I had to buy water at the studio because I'm so freaking picky about my water. I also drank the whole thing during class because I haven't drank as much water the past 2 days. Normally I would have a frozen bottle and I'll usually have only drank 1/2 of it as it defrosts. So lesson learned and I'll be buying Brita filters in bulk from now on. Have a nice night everyone!! Hope everyone has a safe and sane weekend!!

Day 3

Am I really going to try keeping count?? Yeah...we'll see how long that lasts! Anyways...Today was Yoga day. I have put in 3 days with Carl this week...and now I'm going to go the next 3 days to Yoga. I'm still in conundrums on how to make this schedule work. So....Yoga was great this morning...I wore my yoga shorts under my 88 pajama bottoms and I had my usual top under my sweatshirt. It's so funny because you go into the studio wearing clothes and practically walk out naked-ish. I started Yoga during the summer time, so it was okay to walk out and open my Tahoe windows and drive down the road hoping the breeze would cool me down. Now that the weather is FINALLY cooler I have to actually think about putting on clothes before I come home. That kind of sucks due to the fact that I am smelly and am soaking wet. Back to the Yoga..it was a good crowd and today's instructor was Adrienne. I keep forgetting that my right leg has a slight muscle strain or something..so it's not letting do some of the poses correctly. I can't hold my leg like concrete as it's starting to wobble from the pain! Oh well...I guess like my back it'll get over it. Hopefully it doesn't take a month like my back. Have a nice night everyone..I'll be back at Yoga tomorrow morning....;)

Day 2

Oi..Day 2 is finally over!! Well, exercises-wise anyways.  I had 9:15 Yoga and it was a hot, sticky and sweet success! I was able to hold the Standing Bow Pulling Pose for a few seconds. It was real quick and Helena was right in front of me and saw me hold the pose as well! Small victories are nice....considering I have spent 3 months trying. I'm determined to keep my arms in the Eagle pose for more than 2 seconds. It's been my goal since all I can do is cross my arms.  Spent the rest of the day running around picking up the kid from school and getting The Boy off to work. Since I'm still working on my insane workout schedule..I decided to double up today and workout at 5 with Carl. Thanks to Maria, Nora, Nicole and everyone else there today. In the beginning I'm the person who looks like there sleeping on the floor until Carl tells us were about to start. I spent part of the afternoon looking at a calender trying to figure out how to make 7 workouts in 6 days work...I know the answer is right in front of me..I just haven't quite figured it out. My calender looks like a bride's reception seating chart. I can have this workout on this day..but not this day...I can double up on this day...maybe double back to back or one in the morning and one in the afternoon? I still have laundry, dinner, vacuuming, The Kid's homework and reading, and oh yeah..spend time with The Boy when he IS home. OI....I know all this chaos will work itself out in the end. It took me quite a few years to end up where I am now....It's going to take some time and a S**! load of patience to get me at a lighter, healthier me. Well...Unless I can practice yoga naked...I better do some laundry. Nite Yall! 

Day 1

Well...If you didn't know me know..well...your really going to know me now!
Today was the first offical Stockton's Biggest Loser Challenge 2! I wasn't picked the first time around...but I was played along and continued on. I went to the work outs and went to Bikram Yoga 6 days a week. 3 Workouts with Carl our trainer and 3 days at Bikram Yoga. Now the real challenge is here. My goal is 3 workout's with Carl and 4 with Bikram. I didn't think I was going to make the 2nd challenge so I committed to doing to 10 week challenge at Bikram doing yoga 4 days a week. Its sounds daunting....but I figure I have some kind of will..determination...or maybe insanity. It can be done..and will be done. We had to be at Carl's at 4:30 AM for weigh-ins and our picture. I was more afraid of the 4 am wake up than the weigh in and picture to be honest! The workout was good...the makeup was smeared off my face within 5 minutes and we turned on the fans in the gym. I really feel for the new contestants. My first day sucked!! I nearly passed out outside..I nearly puked...and actually laid down on the cement in pain. I kept thinking WTH was I thinking! I kept going back. My advice to the Newbies...Keep coming back for more...you will never know how much you can do unless you try. Have a good day everyone...and see ya tomorrow!