I give!! I give!! Gotta go through Hell to get to Heaven.

I didn't make it to weigh-in on Tuesday. My insomnia came back with a freaking vengeance Monday night. I didn't go to actual sleep until 4:00 AM. There was nothing stressing me...no worries that were keeping me up. It was like I kept telling myself...seriously.. you have to get up in 6 hours to exercises....no wait...5 hours....hmm...4 hours is do-able...3?????...2....Oh Hell I give up!!! Oh how I missed my Ambien. I haven't needed one since early September. If only there was a midnight yoga class....that would have taken care of my sleeping problem real quick. I didn't do my double like I usually do since who knows when. I felt so sucky..I took a Sominex out of desperation last night to settle down and got  7 hours sleep and after dropping The Kid off at school I went to Yoga. I knew it was going to hurt today...and I knew I needed some type of punishment. I saw that Helena was teaching my class and I felt relief. Actually I didn't care who would teach the class. I just knew that walking into the door at Bikram would be some kind of relief to me...I think I actually felt relieved during the Standing Breathing Series.  A couple of times I just wanted to cry out of frustration. Some of the poses which I should be getting better at...sucked. I just know when I got home I felt so much better. I'm going back to yoga tomorrow morning. Carl will be Friday. I'm going back to my old schedule because I have learned the hard way when I get off it...my insomnia comes back and my misery becomes my company. I've worked too hard in the past 5 months to let that shit destroy me now. Talk to you tomorrow. Sorry for being a slacker.