Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.

I found this in my fortune cookie yesterday and it settled in my heart. I actually taped it to my computer so I would read my newest mantra daily. I guess I've been feeling a little crappy lately and I didn't know why. My life is good. My shower was having issues and maybe thinking it was going to burst at any moment really took something out of me. I've been trying to let myself not react to different situations. In the past...the shower issue would have driven me to tears and a stomachache due to stress. This time it was just frustration that I didn't know how to fix it and how would my family and I shower. So yes...I became the idiot because I let all that stress rob me of my peace. Which in turn let me have a crappy class yesterday. It wasn't my best and I while I was glad I made it..I didn't quite get the full benefits because..I don't know...stress in the back of my brain? Well...today was a new day. I just let the crap go..and just went with it today. I think I may have missed out on what Kaci was saying from time to time..because my mind wandered away from me. I lost focus and was thinking about something that had no use to me in that room and I had to bring it back. I did...and my brain spoke to me before Toe stand...I swear I heard a voice say in my brain..."just try it..go for it...the worse that'll happen is that you'll land on your ass or knee..or its going to look weird..but you NEED to try it". Times like this I wish I could turn around and see if someone is whispering in my ear..because I swear I heard it out loud. So i dropped down and somehow picked up my ankle or something..I forgot what I was supposed to pick up.. I looked real quick and saw that my left foot was right up against my right arm and I didn't know how to adjust it to make it not touch while holding on to the floor. I was also suddenly aware that my toes were feeling something..but I wasn't sure what they were doing...but I fell forward onto my knees and that was the end of my 3 attempt at Toe. At least I tried...I let go of the fear of looking like a fool in class and the fear of falling out of it. I guess its better to say I tried instead of saying I'm half way there. I didn't fall out of my Camel poses today. The fear in that pose is that I'll let go of my feet and I'm going to collapse. It's slowing going away. I just tell myself to go slow and ease in to it. Yes, it does feel like the whole class is one climb up a mountain to do that ONE pose. Tomorrow will be another day...and another day to repeat my mantra to myself. Who really knew that when I first fell in love with No Fear  19 years ago..it would turn into my life's mantras. See y'all tomorrow. ;)